The Latin root of ‘humiliation’ is ‘humus’, which translates as ‘earth’ or ‘dirt’. Humiliation is the public failure of one’s status claims. In private, such feeling amount not to humiliation but to painful self-realizations, such as embarrassment. Humiliation is not necessarily shameful. For instance, one could claim that Jesus was crucified and this humiliated, but that he did not feel shame (or so I was told, I was not there).

Shame, on the other hand, is a sort-of subset of humiliation; it is a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of “wrong” or “foolish” behaviour. How and why somebody can be shamed is very personal and highly dependent on cultural background and life experiences. Shame, in many ways, is a reflection of ourselves in relationship to the social and societal circles we are part of in some way, some chosen, some not.

In this workshop we will discuss what it means to humiliate and to be humiliated, to shame and be shamed. We will discuss what it means to "play" with humiliation and shame, and with the common understanding we gain, we will further discuss different ideas on how humiliation and shame can relate to our Kink practices.

We will have guided exercises to go along with these themes that can can be completed in any way, from just talking to having a mini play scene, to even just sitting out and observing. Whatever is at your comfort level, and feels best for you. Even with just observing, a lot can be learned.

Who is this workshop for?
This workshop is for everyone. Please keep in mind that in this workshop we may discuss, unpack, and play around with difficult topics, directly and indirectly, that maybe be triggering in different ways. Saara Rei is not a trained psychologist, therapist, psychiatrist, or healer. She is a trained an experienced facilitator and mediator, and can do her best to hold space for the group and individuals who choose to participate in this workshop. Nobody will be required to do anything in this workshop. Sitting and breathing is enough. And just being present is the most important part of participating in this workshop - helping to hold space for the group with your presence helps to maintain a feeling of security and togetherness, which is often exactly what is needed when confronting such feelings as shame and humiliation. Please keep in mind that this is an active workshop with exercises that are designed to help one feel feelings of shame and humiliation; nobody can make you feel these feelings, however. You will always be in control, so it is up to you as to where you want to go and what you want to experience in this workshop.

What to bring:
Please wear comfortable clothing you feel good in as well bring any costumes and outfits you might find interesting to play in around the themes of humiliation and shame. Please bring any sex toys, kitchen/household items, food, pet toys, mirrors, hats, objects, ideas, fantasies, and anything else you can think of that might relate to humiliation and shame for you.

If you are interested in booking this workshop in a part of the world near you, then please send an email.